Mothers’ Day is a lot of things to many people: people who didn’t like their mom so much have mixed feelings, people who loved their moms dig it, and husbands don’t always know what to do. And neither do our male affair partners (AP).
A Redditor on r/adultery —
Just trying to get a quick gauge here, but if you’re a mom, did your AP wish you a happy Mother’s Day? We’ve been together almost a year, but mine didn’t, and kinda feeling a little hurt, I won’t lie.
Here’s what I added —
Mine did❤️
In response to the OP four mothers had not heard from their APs, and 28 commenters either received or sent nice Mothers’ Day messages.
Multiple messages
Some moms received multiple messages from various lovers past, present and potential —
My very first AP ( xAP for yrs) was the first early this morning to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. Followed by a PAP [potential AP] that i thought I’d blocked because he was a little stalkerish.. My recent XAP wished me a Happy Mother’s day around about 1pm. We very recently had it out so I was surprised he bothered . My X husband did to but he’s my kids father so not unexpected.
I guess you could expect it from your stalker AP, but an xAP from years past? What a sweetie!
My ex-AP messaged me bright and early, he can still go to hell. PAp messaged me as well. Takes two seconds…
Sometimes when an xAP messages, it makes me wonder if they’re not just sniffing around for a piece, but it’s still sweet. And as she says, it only takes two seconds.
Emotional messages
Jealousy
Yip, he got to me before anyone else did 😊. N then my stupid jealousy n wondering kicked in 🤦♀️ God I’m a bitch. Wondering what he’s doing for his mrs blah blah blah. I hate being this out the gate version of me
Sometimes it’s tough to share someone and wishing you were #1 but knowing you’re #2.
Sweetness
Yes, mine did, he made sure to call me after H [husband] left for work and tell me how proud he is of me and what a great mom I am.
Yes, he did and he checked in on me throughout the day. It was really sweet.
Caring
My lovely guy messaged me early this morning and made me cry. He is so insanely loving and caring
Hurt
Mine didn’t, but he doesn’t text much. When I see him next, I’ll joke with him about forgetting him favorite MILF, but I’m a little hurt.
He said it in a group chat there’s another mom in which kinda hurt, a direct message would have been nice but oh well.
Surprise
Yes. First thing in the morning when we usually don’t talk much in the morning.
What did the men have to say?
Yes. Every year, and I make sure that I am always the first to do so.
I sent a note bright and early wishing her and her Mother a Happy Mother’s day. I told her that her kids are awesome people because of her (truth). I also told her that her Mom is wonderful to have raised such a loving and caring daughter.
I did. We’re still pretty early on, but I think she’s a great mom and she deserves it.
I wished my AP a happy mothers day and she is having a great one and that makes my heart happy
I’m a guy and I wished my ex today on mothers day. I can feel that she was expecting it.
I wished it to my AP along with a little note about her as a Mom. We talk a lot about our family lives.
It’s sweet that they take the time to mention it. My AP and I share a lot about our families and know what each other go through, and because of that I’m glad he’s there for me.
And the husbands?
My husband on the other hand has done fuck all and said it was for my kids to do something
My X husband did too but he’s my kids father so not unexpected.
There was very little mention of what the hubbies did, but not many people are on r/adultery to talk about their hub.
The odd voice in the dark
Nope, and I think I’d find it a bit weird if he did. Not our vibe. I like to celebrate the non-mum sides to me with him!
This was the only Redditor like this. I understand her point because when I’m with my lover, I just want to be the sexiest, smartest, sultry me I can be and forget everything else for a few hours.
Takeaway
As for the OP, she came back with this, which was also my thought -
Thanks for all the responses ya’ll! Was just trying to see if it was normal thing for an AP to do and the general consensus is that it is (relationship dependent of course). Follow up question:
Do I have the right to be upset then? How would you go about talking this out? I’m not someone who can just hide when something upsets me
I think she should be upset. The majority of men and women who responded seemed to think it was normal and expected.
Why should she be upset? A man who can’t take the two seconds to send a message on Mothers’ Day to the mom he’s in a relationship with sounds a lot like the guy she’s married to — and she’s cheating on him.
Remember that.
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© Teresa J. Conway, 2022