This is the third and final installment on virtual affairs, so we get down to the question most people probably have — where do you go to find an online lover? Getting off virtually is sexy and safe, and if you have guilt issues, it’s probably the best way to remain morally intact.
While I’m not much into video sex dates, I can’t say my lover, and I haven’t tried one…or two. However, a certain amount of hotness is involved in knowing your body has made another person grab their cock and pump it until it explodes. And yes, women get off on that when they are in the mood for it. So let’s jump in!
Where do you look for online love?
TJC — Where does someone looking for an online affair find a virtual affair partner (vAP)?
MS — I go through stages with platforms; when I first started down this path, I only used the chat function of Literotica. I didn’t know this online world existed; I’d read the stories on lit for years but never used the chat. I distinctly remember the first time; I was away with work in a hotel and bored, so I went on to lit and logged on to the chat out of curiosity. The lit chat is ok, it’s better than the chat on other sites like Lush Stories, Chaturbate, etc., but ultimately, they all suffer from the same problem. There is always an enormous amount of men, and even within the female profiles, many of them aren’t women. Also, there’s a LOT of catfishing online. Many women on those platforms get overwhelmed pretty quickly, so it can be hard to find someone. That said, there are some absolute gems on there if you have the patience. But it’s not a great place to look. I also use Kik, but not for finding new contacts very much — again, there are many catfish, bots, and scammers. It’s great for discreet fun if you already know someone and move there, but it is not suitable for meeting people.
I should point out here I’ve never joined any dating sites or apps or anything, partly because I don’t want to pay and leave a paper trail, and partly because if I pay for access to females, then that’s concrete proof of my intention. When I’m only chatting on free websites, I can still maintain the charade that all I’m doing is chatting. I know I’m lying to myself, but there is at least a pretence of plausible deniability!
The platform I’ve met the best people on, believe it or not, is Twitter. If you look in the right places, it’s fairly easy to identify those who are real and those who are not. You can get a sense of who wants to interact through chatting on a tweet before you ever think about a DM. You can also find people with specific interests, so there are clues as to who might be looking for something a little extra.
The art of connecting online
TJC — Are there any tips or tricks for getting connected with a vAP? What works for you when you’re trying to pick up a vAP for a quick online session? What doesn’t work?
MS — Unless you’re paying, there isn’t a good way of a ‘quick session’ with a stranger. It takes time, usually, to build trust and a relationship. Once the relationship is established, and the trust is there, obviously, there is quickie potential. But it’s rare to meet someone and get straight to something naughty. I think it’s essential to establish a baseline expectation. What you are both there for, what you want, what you don’t want. But, the most important thing is just to be polite and respectful. When you’re talking to a profile online, often a profile that doesn’t have a face picture as a profile picture, it’s easy to fall into the trap of forgetting that the person on the other end of the keyboard is an actual human being too. I’ve had it in reverse, where a person just demands XYZ straight away and treats me like a piece of meat. That’s an immediate turn-off, so in an online relationship, your manners should be exactly as they would be in the outside world.
So my main tips for meeting someone online is: Be picky; it’s ok to be selective. Don’t just jump at the first person who approaches you or is receptive to your advances. Take your time, be patient; there will be conversations that start, maybe even go well, but then just start to fizzle. If the connection isn’t there, don’t force it. Just let it go and move on. Be a decent fucking human; I’m sure this should be applied to all areas of life, but just be kind, respectful, be prepared to have a proper conversation over time. Finally, don’t pressure, coerce, or rush. I know it sounds odd to say when you’re finding an AP, but be honest.
Just basically, don’t be a dick. Be nice.
Spotting potential connections and picking them up
TJC — Is there a type you target? You’d mentioned in the last article your type was mid-forties women. Would you recommend those women for someone just starting?
MS — Haha, ok, so I don’t go for a type physically at all, but I do target a particular type of profile. I can only speak to what works for me, other things might work for other people. But, for me, there are a certain set of loosely guiding principles I apply when looking. I generally tend to avoid profiles with a massive imbalance in followers/following. If a lady only follows <1000 people but has thousands and thousands of followers, DM’ing is a waste of time. I also avoid profiles that claim to be married women ‘looking for fun’ with a face shot as a profile picture. Who has their face on a profile on a public platform if they’re looking to cheat? So my main advice would be, find a lady with less than 1000 followers who have an equalish number of following and followers. Make sure they are active, i.e., posted within the last 48 hours. Find something in a bio that gives you a common ground. Don’t go miles back in time and comment / like something from 3 years ago that comes across as stalkerish! Like or comment on something from the last 24 hours. Start the conversation. Don’t immediately jump into DMs. Build some rapport, then move into DM when it seems appropriate. Finally, trust your instinct. If something doesn’t feel right, let it go. If it feels good, follow it up. These days, I think I can tell within maybe ten messages if something is going to happen!
TJC — What safety precautions do you take? What should a beginner keep in mind for their first online sexual encounter? Cameral angle? Fear of being recorded? Is there anything else specifically related to this form of cheating someone should think about?
Don’t use your real name. When camming, just be aware of your background and what you’re wearing. For example, don’t wear that t-shirt you got from your university with your graduation year or that distinctive shirt you bought on the beach in Mexico. Don’t accidentally have a picture of your wife and kids on the wall behind you or even a heavily patterned bedspread. Your background should be as bland and nondescript as possible. Be conscious of tattoos; don’t show them if they can be avoided, especially if they are distinctive. Avoid anything distinctive, as you can’t do anything about the risk of being recorded. I don’t worry about it too much, as I only ever get that far with someone I trust.
Ultimately, there’s a lot of similarities to real life. Build trust, be kind and protect yourself in a way you would in any affair. And then enjoy the world of sexiness that awaits!
So there you have it! Roll in low and slow and feel them out. The best way to do that is to keep your horny in check. Ask yourself — how many people have you met throughout your life who, in meeting you, showed you their cock? None? Exactly. Keep it clean and above-board until she lets you know it’s time, then sit back, enjoy the show as you give her one.
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