My Ashley Madison profile tells men not to message me. It tells them twice, and it says I’m not looking. That keeps most of the sharks at bay, but the odd one presses in, hoping I’ll be enchanted. I never am, but I’m rarely unkind.
Mr_NiceGuy, defying my instructions, messaged out of curiosity. He knew my name was special, and he wasn’t wrong.
For the listeners and those on the small screen —
I am actually using credits to ask you this. I just have to know. What do I have to leave under my pillow to get a visit from the Adultry_Faery? Not asking for a friend. Just for me and you. I am definitely looking for fun times with someone who comes up with such a great name like yours. Let’s connect… XOXO.
I ask why someone would reach out despite being advised otherwise. Embracing my empathetic nature, I engaged in conversation, but for clarity, this is what my profile says —
And again for the listeners and those on the small screen —
YOU ARE WASTING CREDITS CONTACTING ME.
PLEASE DON’T MESSAGE.
Keeping this open to stay in touch with people I’ve connected with. Not currently looking for new friends, so please save your credits.
I’ve left parts of my profile up because most women like what I’ve described below, and if you approach them like that, they’ll be happier than if you waste their time with a “hey”.
________________________________________
No singles please — too much risk.
Also 40+ only svp
NOTICE TO MEN — What doesn’t work. Telling me how good you are in bed in your first message. Telling me why we are all here. Being snippy, argumentative or contradictory. You might disagree with me or not like that I push back, but the reality is, I’ve got the thing you want. There are dozens of you, so if you think you’ll get my thing without bringing your A-game, you’re wrong.
Be polite because I will test you. Don’t push back. And don’t tell me who I am or what I want, because you will immediately become someone I don’t want.
I want nice messages that are well written — not copy-and-paste jobs. I want them to be based on my profile and appeal to my brain.
Pro tip — anyone who talks about how good they are upfront usually isn’t. Trust me, I’ve been with a dozen or more of you over the last five years, because — I’m not the new girl.
With that said, I invite you to join me in our conversation. We explored dating advice, the creation of a captivating profile write-up, and other insights shared during our enchanting interaction. No one leaves a conversation with me empty-handed unless you want to punch your MILF card…
Online Dating Advice
As our conversation unfolded, Mr_NiceGuy shared valuable insights from his own experiences on Ashley Madison and I shared mine. I emphasized the importance of targeting active users, as inactive accounts can lead to uncertainty and no communication. He appreciated this tip, as I explained the platform’s inclination to maintain a low male:female ratio to encouraging credit sales through messaging women who’ll never reply.
Crafting a Captivating Profile Write-up
Recognizing the need for a compelling profile, I offered my assistance in revamping Mr_NiceGuy’s existing write-up. His was two lines of boring, but after I asked a few questions, I gave him something to work with. By incorporating his passions, interests, and desires, I created a profile text that vividly depicted a cheater longing for excitement and companionship. I infused my write-ups with humor and authenticity. The write-up is your resume, as much as your first message is your cover letter. And I always invite potential affair partners to connect and embark on an adventure with my client.
…for the listeners and those on the small screen —
Try this for your profile write-up — I’m looking for someone to help me bring some excitement back into my life. I’m sure you can understand, there’s only so much that one can do with a great roommate. I am a history buff who loves to talk about philosophical thought, but I’m also a lover of physical activities. Football was my game in college, and while my arms are still strong, my other muscles have diminished somewhat — but I still keep myself in shape when I’m not working at the gym. I’m a fan of simple North American food and the flavors of the world, and I love cooking for myself during the week. I’m a light drinker, so I’m not worried if she drinks — it can be a byproduct of a fun night. All I’m looking for is someone who’s of a similar age (45–55) and can bring some excitement and conversation into my life. If that’s you, please get in touch!
Boundaries and Professionalism
Throughout our conversation, I emphasized the importance of professional boundaries. Although I engaged in dialogue with those who messaged me, I maintained a strictly professional approach. Refusing to engage in explicit or intimate conversations, I aimed to keep interactions focused and respectful. I do the same with my other clients, too.
Though I’ve been known to show a bit of flesh when the mood strikes or I need to boost a client’s morale. My dedication to maintaining professional boundaries enabled me to serve as a trustworthy confidant and wingwoman to my clients.
The Role of Empathy
Mr_NiceGuy, like many others, found solace in confiding his thoughts and experiences with me. That sometimes turns into feels with a lot of the guys I connect with online. It’s why I have strict boundaries. Sort of like a mental health professional or counselor, I need to keep my distance so we can stay focused on their search.
As a self-proclaimed empathy junkie, I created a safe space where he could freely express himself and be understood. By actively listening and offering support, I played the role of a compassionate confidant leveraging empathy's power in forging meaningful connections. I’m the perfect wing girl.
The Girl Behind the Faery Dust
While maintaining my professional persona as — Your Faery Godmother of Adultery 🧚🏻♀️, Mr_NiceGuy couldn’t help but wonder about the sexy chick [my words] behind my shimmering facade. I revealed my background in history and politics, my passion for research, and my interest in storytelling. My ability to balance my professional and personal life, remaining true to myself in both realms, left Mr_NiceGuy captivated because, of course, I did.
Takeaway
The conversation between Mr_NiceGuy and I showcased the magic where empathy, curiosity, and professionalism intersect. From offering online dating advice to crafting an enticing profile write-up, I provided invaluable insights and guidance. Through my dedication to maintaining professional boundaries and my commitment to serving as a confidant, I strive to create a safe and enchanting space for those embarking on their extramarital journeys.
And that’s what makes me, Your Faery Godmother of Adultery 🧚🏻♀️
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Assisted by Openai’s ChatGPT 3.5, because I was too brain-fogged and coffee deprived to select ChatGPT 4, the platform I’m currently not exploring very well…
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© Teresa J. Conway, 2023