Mukhlis bin Muhammad, a 46-year-old Islamic religious leader and a member of Aceh Ulema Council (MPU) was caught red-handed canoodling with a married woman.

On account of his unprincipled act, he received 28 lashes from a masked religious officer of the Sharia Police In Banda Aceh on the 31st of October, 2019.

Mukhlis’ married side piece was lashed 23 times. Both in a public park, because nothing says picnic more than the sound of a cane whipping naked ass flesh.

In a total cock-block move by the state, officials interrupted the erstwhile lovers in flagrante delicto and took them into custody.

The clever pair decided to fuck in a car parked near a tourist beach.

One would assume a “religious official” from the province of Aceh, would know it is a profoundly conservative region. And he would also likely know it is the only province of Indonesia that enforces strict anti-adultery laws. So, I’m pretty sure he would have known fucking at the beach in a car wasn’t the smartest move.

But the heart wants what the heart wants, amirite?

A semi-autonomous region, the Indonesian Government granted special autonomy to the provincial government of Aceh in 2001, so they could implement the Islamic criminal code known as Qanun Jinayat. Sharia law was then made obligatory in Aceh, in 2005. Aceh the world’s largest Muslim-majority nation that practices Sharia law. This law concerns both Muslims and non-Muslims alike.

Again, I’m pretty sure Mukhlis got that memo, but hey, when it’s right there, whatdyagonna do? Hit it. That’s what you’re going to do.

What makes this story stand out is — wait for it — Mukhlis was one of the anti-adultery lawmakers who insisted on the laws. Dude, dude, dude? WTF were you thinking? Donald Trump isn’t even this stupid most of the time, so that doesn’t say much about our boy Mukhlis.

In another first for a man who would be comfortable living in Flordia, Mukhlis was the first Islamic religious leader in Aceh flogged in public since Sharia law came into force! Way to go Mukhlis!

Husaini Wahab, the deputy mayor of Aceh Besar district, told BBC news:

“Irrespective of who you are if you do not comply with the Islamic Shariya law then you will be whipped. It does not matter whether you are an imam, an ulema, or an ordinary citizen, the Aceh Government does not discriminate. This is God’s law. Anyone must be lashed if proven convicted, even if he is a member of the MPU (Aceh Ulema Council). Whipping a council member has underlined the commitment to enforcing Islam.”

I say good for Husaini! Mukhlis is clearly a deeply stupid and self-righteous man, so who better to be caught?

In addition to the lashes, Mukhlis bin Muhammad was binned. He was fired under his employer’s moral code, which probably read thusly — hey dipshit, if you are going to break a law you personally introduced, try not to do it in a public place.

Public flogging is the standard punishment for various wrongdoings in the province of Aceh. Offenses under the Islamic criminal law include adultery, pre-marital sex, sexual harassment, rape, homosexual act, theft, gambling, alcohol consumption, production, and distribution.

Yeah, so, basically, that land that fun forgot. Way to go religion!!

Canning always takes place on public platforms, however, children are not allowed to attend. The canes are generally made from rattan, stuff they make furniture from, so I’m sure you could easily put a little stank on it.

So who gets to do the canning? No one knows because like a ninja, those performing the canning are covered head to toe, except for their eyes.

I think her hubby should have got to do it! I imagine how good beating the man who schtupped your wife would feel?

Human rights organizations have demanded to put a stop to these public caning and flogging sentences, and you know what? I’d normally agree, but in Mukhlis’ case? I say whip the shit out of that dumb ass because if anyone should suffer from his stupid law, it should be him.

And the best part? He didn’t even get his rocks off…