In an email exchange with a client today, he talks about encountering a scammer posing as a Dom on Ashley Madison. He spoke about the red flags he encountered and what ultimately allowed him to see through her game, but I’m not sure she was a scammer. It’s more likely she was a sex worker plying her trade. He then listed a number of red flags that alerted him to the scam.
Red Flag #1 — Sales Pitch. She made her sales pitch by offering Dom services for a fee early on. Sure, it’s awkward, but think about what she’s offering. Scammers usually don’t offer something upfront but suck you in and then play on your heartstrings once they think it’s the right time to strike. A sex worker doesn’t have time to lure people in, so it makes sense they’d talk about money first.
What was probably happening. Think about it, she’s never going to convince someone not looking for domination into being dominated, so it’s best to get it out of the way up front so she can move on. She has clients out there.
Red Flag #2 — No pictures. He became concerned that she was offering to dominate him without exchanging pictures. Only a scammer would do that because who would have sex with someone without knowing what they looked like?
What was probably happening. Sex workers are business people. They provide a service and so are not interested in what their clients look like. Would she date an ugly client? Probably not, but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t suck an ugly guy off. Because love is love, and business is business.
Men looking for domination are looking for domination and are less concerned about what she looks like. The arousal comes from the experience and not her looks. Sure, we’d all love to be dominated by some sexy vixen, but you aren’t there for that. Not knowing can heighten the sexual experience.
Red Flag #3 — No meeting before the sexual activity. She didn’t want to have a coffee with him. He was new to AM and the game and expected that would be the natural progression.
What was probably happening. People in BDSM space wouldn’t expect to meet their professional Dom outside their business place. Would you ask to meet a wedding planner for a coffee to ensure she’s a wedding planner? No.
Red Flag #4 — She had an in-home dungeon.
What was probably happening. There are dungeons where you can rent out spaces, but I’m not surprised someone would have one at home. Think of the tax write-offs and low overhead. It’s the ultimate WFH situation.
For the client worried about getting robbed, consider that you are invited to her home. That house isn’t going anywhere, so short of being murdered, you’ll know where you were when you were robbed — and she lives there.
Also, how long would the “rob/murder my client” last before someone called the police? Not everyone into BDSM has something to hide. They also know sex work is illegal, so they can perfectly ruin the Dom’s business. Who wants to be charged with running a bawdy house? If she has kids, do you think she’s going to risk the social service involvement that could come with robbing clients?
More practically, you can probably only rob a client once, whether they report you or not. Conversely, you can lighten a client’s wallet many times over if you provide great service. Which makes more sense?
A client is probably safest in her home. She isn’t, but him? 100%.
My clients are worried about scammers. I get it. Meeting people online could lead to bad outcomes. Meeting people in real life can lead to bad outcomes. More often than not, tho, the outcomes aren’t bad. They are either neutral or good. Being aware of possible scam situations is healthy. Seeing scams everywhere until proven otherwise probably means that you’ve picked the wrong hobby. I won’t say that bad things don’t happen, but that doesn’t mean everything is a scam, yet it persists.
Takeaway
Is the world a scam? Case in point, Maddierose’s sister asked if I was scamming them. Maddie pointed out that I bought them a computer and paid them $1000. She then dryly observed, “if she’s scamming us, she’s not doing a very good job.” When evaluating something, consider all the facts, and not just the ones that appeal to your emotions.
Where have I been? Well, I’ve been doing a lot of client work and building my new business helping men find ladies on Ashley Madison. My company — AdulteryFaery.com — and everything leading to it came from what I’ve done and learned on Medium. Medium isn’t meant to pay a full time income, but what you learn here can. But nothing is free. You need to work very hard to make your dreams come true.
Are you looking to improve your Ashley Madison game or get started on the platform? Follow this third-party link to my products and services!
© Teresa J. Conway, 2022