Men Lie About Their Height on Dating Apps Because They Think You're That Stupid

A few years back I matched with a guy on Ashley Madison who listed himself as 6'1". When we met at a hotel bar, I had to look down to make eye contact. I'm 5'4". In heels, maybe 5'7" on a good day. This motherfucker was 5'8" if he was lucky, and that's being generous after rounding up.

"You're shorter than I expected," I said, because subtlety has never been my thing.

"I'm wearing different shoes," he replied without missing a beat.

Different shoes. Like he'd been wearing stilts when he filled out his profile.

The numbers don't lie, but men do

Here's what kills me about the height lie — it's the easiest one to disprove. You can photoshop your face, angle your dick pics, claim you're "athletic" when you're actually shaped like a potato, but when you show up in person? Physics is a bitch, and she doesn't round up.

Yet men do it constantly. A recent study found that men on dating apps add an average of two inches to their height. TWO INCHES. That's not a rounding error, gentlemen. That's fraud.

Why? Because they think it works. And you know what's fucked up? Sometimes it does.

The delusion runs deep

Men have convinced themselves that women have a height requirement they need to meet, like we're all walking around with a fucking measuring tape in our purse. They've read somewhere that women only want men over six feet, so they figure if they just say they're six feet, we'll never know the difference.

This is the same logic that leads men to believe we can't tell when they've added three years to their gym membership and subtracted five from their actual age. They think if they just get us to show up, their sparkling personality will make us forget they lied.

Spoiler: it won't.

What they don't understand

Here's what these height-lying assholes miss — most women don't actually give a shit if you're 5'9" instead of 6'1". What we give a shit about is whether you're going to lie about stupid, easily verifiable facts.

If you'll lie about your height, what else are you lying about? Your relationship status? Your vasectomy? Whether you "definitely don't have herpes"?

The lie isn't the problem. Well, it is, but it's not the HEIGHT that's the problem. It's that you thought I was dumb enough to fall for it.

The psychology of the pocket-sized bullshitter

Men lie about their height for the same reason they lie about everything else — insecurity wrapped in entitlement. They're insecure about being shorter than the arbitrary six-foot threshold, but entitled enough to believe their feelings about their height matter more than basic honesty.

It's the same energy as guys who post photos from 2015 when they had hair and a jawline. They know it's deceptive, but they've decided that getting you to show up is more important than your right to accurate information.

And here's the kicker — they get mad when you call them on it. Like you're the asshole for noticing they're not the height they claimed. I've had men argue with me about how tall they are while I'm literally standing next to them. "I'm 5'11", you must be taller than you think."

Bitch, I've been the same height since I was fourteen. I know exactly how tall I am.

So what do you do?

If you're a woman dealing with height-lying men, here's my advice: call it out immediately. Don't be polite. Don't let it slide. The moment you realize he's shorter than advertised, mention it.

"You're not 6'2"."

Watch what he does. If he gets defensive, leave. If he laughs and admits he exaggerated, you can decide if you want to fuck someone who thinks lying is a reasonable dating strategy.

For you men reading this who've added inches to your profile — stop. Just stop. List your actual height. If a woman won't date you because you're 5'9", she wasn't going to fuck you anyway once she met you and realized you were a liar.

And if you're already committed to the lie? Wear those magic shoes to the date. At least make it interesting.