There are people and then there are people. Who you pick to cheat with will likely determine the outcome of your affair before it begins. It also will depend on how the cheating happened.
This course assumes you’ve decided to cheat and are looking for the resources to do it well. This course won’t help you if you had drunken late night sex in the garage with your brother-in-law — unless you liked it and want more.
Your Family, Social, and Work Circles
Your circles are where people know you. An AP in your circle will be known to other people in your circle. Knowing both of you, they will observe you together. And no matter how sneaky you are, they’ll notice something.
A stolen glance, a lingering touch. An inside joke only the two of you laugh at. On their own these things may appear to be nothing, but they’ll start adding up the longer you and your AP are observed together.
Having an affair outside your circles reduces the chances of being observed by people who know you well.
This article explains who you should avoid —
Cake Eaters
They aren’t the only ones to aviod though. Some types of cheaters are better to avoid than others if you don’t want your feelings hurt. The ones you want to look out for are the ‘cake eaters.’ They are the cheaters who get sex at home, but are out on the prowl for more. Some cheaters look down on “cake eaters” for that. Why? Probably because some cheaters can’t understand why anyone not from a dead bedroom would cheat. The “cake eater” goal may be to increase their body count, and may toss you aside once they are done with you. They also might be a bi person and miss what the other team has to offer. So while they may be looked down upon, it’s important to remember cheaters don’t give each other prizes for “best-in-show” anyway, so what does it matter who is worse? At the end of the day we’re all shit.
Learn more about cake eaters here —
Stupid People
You need to get an idea of who they are before you sleep with them. Having a stupid person for an ONS is fine, as long as they can’t find you afterwards, but having a longer term liaison with them comes with a lot of down side.
Here why stupid people are bad —
Protecting Yourself From Weirdos
All of these people can harm you and your relationship. Adulterers refer to this as ‘blowing up your life.’ That is the last thing you want so go into any new adulterous relationship expecting the person will blow up your life — until you figure them out.
This is how you can protect yourself from the wrong ones —
Adultery is a people business, so knowing people will get you through. Who not to cheat with is the best place to start. The office romance might be convenient, your buddy’s wife might seem willing, or your you just caught your good looking father-in-law checking you out. Yup, it happens.
Kenny Rogers said it best,
“You gotta know when to walk away, and know when to run.”
Knowing who to walk away from will keep you in the game longer, and that’s the point isn’t it?
Back to Lesson Two —Are you sure you want to have an affair?
Next Lesson Four — Profile Tips for women and men.
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© Teresa J. Conway, 2022