Sure, adultery is all about the sex. It’s beautiful, fun, exciting, and taboo. When you first step out, you might want to try twenty people or just find one. It doesn’t matter.
You’ll only ever be as good as your last date.
We’ve talked about lying. Now it’s time to talk about all those other things you need to think about daily that keep your affair on the down-low.
I’ll tell you right now, this is the bland bread and butter stuff that allows you to keep getting the sex you want.
What this info won’t do is catch your interest like a sexy story. It won’t keep you awake. You’ll tell yourself you’ll read it later, and I hope you do.
If you don’t, just let me know, getting this stuff wrong will keep you awake at night for the rest of your life if you get it wrong — sometimes even just once.
So, why not get it out of the way now?
It is presented here because this is life and the on-going affair. By now, you’ve figured out the basics, you’ve found someone (or someones) and have had a few sex dates.
You’re invested, so congratulations, you are a cheating asshole. Welcome to the club.
If you want to stay invested, it’s time to start doing the work that will take your cheating to the next level, with these related stories
Deception and Hiding Adultery
Hiding your adultery within your life involves creating illusions. And illusions are based on deception; the sort magicians’ practice. You’ve read lesson nine on lying, and you know what a cover story is. You’ll see some repeat info here from previous lessons, but seriously, this is some of the most important shit you’ll need to be a success, so pay attention.
Bringing your skills together starts here —
Handling Adulterous Info Leaks
Controlling the info that gets out is huge because some stuff will get out from time to time, so you need to be ready to react to it. Think of your affair as the big-picture secret you are hiding from the world with an illusion. Your magic tricks might work, but what if they see a card fall out of your sleeve?
Will that card bring down the whole illusion on your head if you misplay the situation? It could.
Make no mistake, when info gets out, you are in danger, but there are still things you can do. The first dismiss their concern. Next play it down. Third, blame the victim for reacting the way they did. And if none of that works, gaslight them — try to convince them they are the crazy one.
Gaslighting someone to get out of being caught means you are near the end of the line, so you’d better hope it works out. Some people are masters at this, and that’s not a compliment. Gaslighting is the shittiest thing you can do to them in a relationship.
But remember, you’re an asshole already, so you’re going to have to get over that.
Avoiding Traps
Secret Recordings. I love to be recorded while I’m having sex. Being watched is a huge turn on for me. But what happens after? Well, I have to trust my affair partner won’t put it out there, and I do.
You already know to keep your picture off your dating app profile, but if you’ve been seeing someone for a while, you’ll let your guard down, and that’s fine, but nothing lasts forever — your adulterous love won’t anyway. Never discount the idea your sexy pics and vids could be released for revenge against you.
But what about the people who secretly record you and then toss you up on Porn Hub for shits and giggles? You need to watch out for them. Learn how to avoid that here —
Pay attention to the boring shit because that’s where you’re vulnerablemedium.com
Blackmail. This goes hand in hand with secret recordings. Sometimes the person might be recording you to get something out of you. This is a more complex operation, and men fall for it more often than women because they’ll take the bait more often than not. The biggest clue in avoiding this is if she is well out of your league, she’s not there because you’re sexy.
Offence is the Best Defense
Never cheat with someone who has less to lose than you do. Full stop. If you do, you’re a fool. If you both have a family, you want to keep, that’s an incentive to keep a lid on things. If you have similar incomes, there won’t be much to be gained.
Things start going south when you have a disproportionate amount of money or they don’t have a family. Then you are taking risks they aren’t, and they may just say — fuck it, I’m taking him down. And then you’re done.
If they have pics and vids of you, have pics and vids of them.
When you have something on your affair partner, you’ll always be able to remind them that if they try to take you down, they’ll go down too. It’s called mutually assured destruction, or MAD, and if you don’t have enough on them to hurt them, you’re cheating with the wrong person.
Of course, you can always cheat with someone who has more to lose than you do, and that’s probably the safest position to be in. For all the same reasons, it’s the worst position to be in when it’s the other way around. Learn more here —
Mutually Assured Destruction (MAD) might helpmedium.com
Lesson Summary
If you’ve stepped out, you’re already a piece of shit in the eyes of 99% of humans on the planet. So they will expect you to do shitty things. Let this help you put the shitty stuff you’ll do into perspective.
No one would agree standing in a puddle of shit up to your knees is a whole lot better than standing in shit up to your waist. May be it’s a little better, but it’s still shit.
An extra log or two won’t make a difference.
To avoid getting caught, continuously hone your deception skills to keep the illusion going. Control what happens when info gets out to keep people away from learning the truth, even if you have to convince them they are crazy.
Avoid some of the more obvious traps like secret videos and honeypots, and collect enough info on your affair partner to keep their mouths shut or seriously fuck up their lives — should it come to that.
Yeah, you’re a complete asshole if you’ve reached this point in your new adulterous lifestyle. And it’s too late to worry about it because that ship’s sailed.
So as long as the sex is still good, ask yourself —
Does becoming an even bigger asshole make a difference when you’re already an asshole?
No it doesn’t.
Back to Lesson Nine — Adulterous Lies, Liars, and Lying
To Lesson Eleven — The Feelings Will Suck so Make Peace With That
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© Teresa J. Conway, 2022