Photo by Hello I’m Nik 🎞 on Unsplash

Are You Still Here?

If we haven’t scared you off yet, it’s time to pick your hunting app.

Because if you’ve learned anything so far, it’s that you must hunt outside your circles, right?

I’ve tried Tinder and Ashley Madison — or AM as we call it. Tinder was a mistake, and I took so much risk; it was stupid, and I was stupid for doing it. When I woke up, I moved to AM, and all it meant — full-on adulterous stranger sex.

Testing the Waters

I made a man’s account, looked at the other ladies' writing, and then started mine. I played with different versions of my write-up, and while they all attracted men, some were better than others.

I wrote one sounding like I wanted a shadow life partner to take me to the movies, and of course, the boys didn’t like that one. They weren’t into music festivals and romantic dinners out, and I wonder why? No, I don’t. No one is on AM for that.

My tough cookie profile said, “Although this is a new account, this isn’t my first rodeo, and if you aren’t interested in spending time south of the equator, I’m not interested in you.” That attracted a specific sort of man, including a retired military man who told me my profile was “awesome.” I was proud of his compliment, but the men who responded were a little too rough for me, although I expect they would have been great in bed :)

The Goldilocks Profile

And then, I smoothed it out. No romantic dinners, no demands, no dominatrix, just me, a lady looking for a man to spend some sexy times with.

I never looked at a man’s profile without a write-up. NEVER. EVER. Men, you are wasting your money on AM without a profile. Sure, I can see how you look holding a fish and that you went to the gym once, but I want to know if you’re stupid, and your writing tells me that. I’m not interested if I don’t see a write-up because I assume you are stupid.

I set up a second lady’s profile. This showed me who the “cut and pasters” were. You know, the guy who’s perfected a first message and sends the same one to all the fresh meat. I’m sorry, but if you couldn’t be bothered to be original, I couldn’t be bothered to give you my pussy.

For the boys —

Pay attention to the part about your cock. Your cock pic at the wrong time and wrong place will get you shut down more often than anything else. YOUR COCK WON’T GET YOU LAID. Remember, she’s looking for James Bond, not Homer Simpson — she’s married to Homer Simpson. James Bond only pulls his gun out when he needs it, and not a second before.

More tips from Mona for the older cheater!

Reviewing profiles —

In these two articles, I discuss how to make a profile better by taking their original profiles apart, analyzing them, and then rewriting them based on what I think the men are trying to say. It leads to a smoother reading experience for the ladies, which could lead to a conversation.

Think of your profile as your landing page. You send her a message, and the first place she usually goes is to your profile to see what you say you’re all about. And if she likes it, the next thing she’ll do is send you a nice reply.

Profile turn-offs —

Physical attraction is essential, but so is intelligence, specifically, emotional intelligence. You might be hot af and all of that, but if you sound like a douche in your profile, you’ll turn someone off before you have a chance to turn them down.

We all get that chemistry and fuckability are essential, but you don’t have to write it down or demand photos. Who knows, you might surprise yourself and find a lovely lady with a bit of cushion who’s willing to do everything you want.

This article shows how some profile comments can be interpreted by the women reading them —

And more for the boys —

If you haven’t figured it out yet, there are probably ten men for every one woman, so you’re going to have to work hard to get through this door.

Summary

A woman with a blank profile and no pictures will get messages from men looking for sex. Are they the right ones? Probably not, but they might be. The best way to screen them out is to tell them what you want — 5’10” and over, 8” cock, blue eyes, professional, no farmers, etc.

Men don’t need to do this because we all know what you want. And if you do write something, be very careful, because any woman who sees those preferences will judge you on them, whether she meets them or not, and will probably pass. No fat chicks, please = no thanks from all women, you prick.

And from that, you should get the ones who fit the profile. There’ll be some who message but don’t fit your criteria. They come in two groups: the ones who didn’t read your profile (stupid) and the ones who did (smart). How do you tell? The smart ones will mention something from your profile and make it work, like, “I’m a farmer, but trying to get out of the life, can you help me?” No fish picture can beat intelligent and funny.

So look around, see what others write by setting up an opposite sex profile, and get writing!

Back to Lesson Three — Affair Partner Selection and Management

Lesson Five— The Official Potential Affair Partner Application

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© Teresa J. Conway, 2022