This email came in late last night as I was working away on my writing stuff. I can’t say it better than Sue did, so I’ll have you read her email she sent.
She talks about how my security advice put her in the frame of mind everyone should be in when they have sex outside their marriage, whether it’s an open situation like Sue’s, or not.
After reading this, I couldn’t have gone to bed happier!
Hello Teresa!
My name is Sue, and I just wanted to send you an email to say thank you! I am not cheating on my husband, but we are very, very new in cuckolding relationship (since February). I know it may seem odd that I am reading your stories, books, and advice because my husband is aware of me having sex with others, but I wanted you to know it’s helping me somewhat in reverse. Reading your book on cheating clued me into how the guy’s life is living with a secret, and it has been very helpful in understand and knowing how to be respectful of the situation they are in. A few things stood out to me that helped me not mess up someone’s life and save me from being annoyed from difficulties in trying to plan a date with them.
Biggest points that I learned from your writing or from you interviewing someone!
- After talking to a few men, I couldn’t understand how they didn’t communicate their unhappiness of lack of sex. I almost want to shake them and say, “why don’t you communicate, assuming it would start a good flow of what’s going on each other’s minds and work it out for a happy ending (no pun intended)! Your interview about the guy (sorry, can’t remember his name) [it was Charles, who I recently set up, by the way]! Who detailed his first 30 days on AM, was very insightful when you both identified with sometimes the spouse thinks they are meeting halfway, and how hurtful it would be to say otherwise. Being someone who communicates well, I really struggled with this, so thank you for letting me understand another angle.
- I found it very helpful and logical when you stated in your book to make sure they leave when they need to! I met my 4th (bull) today, and after a week of dicey communication and changes in plans, I was driving the hour to meet him, and he sent a message something came up, and he would have a much shorter time to spend with me than originally thought. I’m embarrassed to say, but at first, I was annoyed because of how the whole week of planning went, but then I remember you saying always send them home when they need to go, and in the end, I was the one kicking him out to get home. So thank you!
- You also brought to light some things I didn’t think of with my own “security,” as you like to call it. Meeting men online and them not always aware my husband knows does put you at risk for danger, so I appreciated the warning,
- You made me realize that I have to think of other “security” issues I was taking for granted in my own lifestyle. My husband and I are both professionals, have two kids, one in college and one in high school, and are very involved in our town, so in no way can I let our secret lifestyle get out. You giving examples of security gone wrong made me think of the dangers if the spouse found my identity and what could happen if she does.
Sorry for the long rambling email! I just really wanted you to know your writings don’t just help people who cheat but also be a good side chick. I read your “term” dictionary and felt a little weird when I read the definition of “cake eater” and really hope you don’t look down on my lifestyle as it’s not exactly the same as yours. I can assure you my husband loves it, and so far, so have the guys I have met! Thank you for all the great info. I truly do love this little world as I have never felt so empowered, and it has made my 25-year marriage pretty darn fantastic the last few months. I am very appreciative of the wisdom I got from you!
Happy weekend!
Sue
On Jul 9, 2021, at 11:02 PM, TJ Conway <tjconwayauthor@gmail.com> wrote:
Hi Sue,
I really don’t know what to say but thank you so much for your kind words! It makes me feel good to know my advice is practical enough to be readily adopted and used — that is exactly what I’d hoped for! In my opinion, cheating securely can be learned, and while a lot of what I say is obvious, I planned to cover all the bases to help people think about it more holistically.
I agree that your situation isn’t exactly cheating, but if your bulls are cheating, then you need to think about their security so they can survive to fuck another day! Lol
As for cake eaters — I don’t care what people do as far as sex at home and away — so I don’t put much stock in the term cake eater. It’s what some in the adultery community say, and to me, it just sounds like jealousy. I’ve never been one to worry about what my neighbor was getting, so I’ll never judge you because you like sex.
I’d like to use your email in a story because it’s really nice to hear what people think of my work, and I want to show my readers that people are deriving value from my work to show them that they can too.
I can’t tell you how good it is to hear your praise. I just told my lover I’d send him your email after I’m done responding because I couldn’t do this without him! Or people like you ❤️
Thank you so much!
Teresa
Sent from my iPhone
Teresa,
Ha! Absolutely! Very neat! I was freshly fucked and two beers in on my Friday night and apparently wasn’t paying attention to grammar hahaha you may want to fix some of it, haha [don’t worry, Sue, I gotchu babe!]
Nice to hear from you! Thanks again!
Sue
And there you have it! Sue brings out some excellent points here, and the key one to me is this –
Your security is tied to your affair partner’s/partner’s security, so you are only as secure as your weakest link. Sue’s bulls need to stay safe so she can keep meeting them, and Sue needs to be safe, so their wives don’t out her as “the other woman.”
Sue isn’t a cheater, but a Hot Wife, meaning she still has something to lose if her lifestyle choices got out. When you have something to lose, you need to take steps to secure it, no matter what it is. In this case, hub’s a cuck, but would her community think the same way? I doubt it.
What impresses me about Sue is she not only recognized her security threats and vulnerabilities, but she took steps to mitigate against them for herself, and her lovers.
And remember, only you can prevent your life from blowing up!
Here’s that interview with Charles —
Without question, the boys have it roughmedium.com
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