I was going to retire, but someone asked me if they could turn my book into a movie or limited series on a streamer, and now I’m having second thoughts.
That happened last month, and after a little back-and-forth, I signed what’s called a shopping agreement. What that means is the producer turns my book into a screenplay and then they shop it around Hollywood studios looking for a buyer.
And I know they will work hard because if they don’t, they get zilch.
They do all the work, and then we split the profits after they recoup their costs. This is the first stage. A studio would have to pick it up and either option it or make it. Whatever happens, I’ll make a bit of money from any sale.
After the sale, I’d have to negotiate a backend deal to profit from the production. This is the big money step. A limited series on a streamer that hits a lot of eyeballs can make $100M to $300M. I’m not great at math, but I know that even 1% of gross is a few $$$.
I was going to retire Teresa
I haven’t written in six months. I couldn’t even be bothered to have AI write for me. By late last year, I’d decided that I’d probably written everything about cheating I could. I told my email list the same thing. I told them to wait, and I’d let them know. I could have kept going because it’s easy to put a new spin on an old story or advice, and no one would notice.
There’s no god, but if there were, I’d thank her for my memory. I could write about cheating 5ever.
I know more about cheating than almost anyone I can think of except Mona. And I can recall it with the ease of an angel ascending to heaven. Dr. Alica Walker might have more technical knowledge about the human experience, but she has felt the butterflies. I dove in hard, but my time had come.
My inkwell was dry.
Frankly, I was bored. Anyone with ADHD knows what I mean by that. My hyperfocus had moved on to new obsessions in a big way because cheating wasn’t floating my boat. It still isn’t — beyond the practical application :-)
Then this movie thing came up…
How did I get here?
If you haven’t figured it out, TJC is a pen name to hide my extracurriculars from the world. If you read my About, you’ll see she was born in the summer of 2018 between flights on my way home. I was a pretty sad girl that summer.
A week or so before I realized for the first time that I would never have sex again if I didn’t do something. I was 48, and it had already been nine years without. I had not had sex since I was 39. I can’t even imagine it now.
I learned that a sexless marriage is one where the people have sex less than ten times a year. Sexually, I was experiencing the sort of drought that collapsed ancient civilizations. I would have been happy for sex ten times a year . For the most part, I very happily clock in at about 20–30 sexy times a year, which is more than enough.
Desperate and lost, I did what anyone would do.
I wrote a book
Summer 2018 was also the summer I decided to see if I could write fiction online for money. I fantasized about running away with my small pension and living off online writing. I started with erotica, not because I’m some sex-starved vixen, but because my research told me it paid the most. If my plan was going to work, I needed to feed people. It was the easiest option, so I gave it a go.
As it turns out, writing sex scenes is super boring, but I knew no one was going to pay me to write about China’s Arctic ambition.
I also started researching cheating in more detail because I was afraid of getting caught. By December 2018, realized I had enough material for a book. I’d written and published six 5000-word sex stories by then. They were doing ok, and the profits started as I built a fan base. I’m sure I would have been successful, but writing the erotica? Not for me.
I had other plans. I thought, why not do a cheating book? I’d looked for one but couldn’t find what I wanted. So, I ended up writing the book I needed.
Happy New Year!
I published my book on Amazon on December 31st, 2019, and nothing happened. I tried advertising it but nothing worked. I’d naively thought if I published it would fly off the shelves. It didn’t.
By May 2020 I followed MonalisaSmiled to Medium and started pushing my book there, bit by bit. I cannibalized it, amplified the concepts, and end up writing 400+ blog posts over four years.
The stats
People love stats, but I rarely collect them. What I do know is I’ve made about $15,000 from Medium since joining, and have about $25,000 in sales from my consulting work with my cheating clients. I’m not sure about Amazon, but if it’s been $1500, I’d be surprised. It has all come from my self-published book. I imagine $41,500 gross is pretty good for a side gig I don’t need.
Could I have made more? I’m sure, but I lost interest. The economic slowdown hasn’t helped, but that was incidental to my waning interest.
50 Shades of Gray was self-published
My book isn’t 50 shades of anything. It’s like maybe three shades of BS on a good day. It’s a tradecraft manual for cheaters who don’t want to get caught. It’s every scrap of advice I could find, combined with my experience, and put on a page to help others. My guess is if you take 5% of my advice, you’ll succeed. All I wanted to achieve was:
- Learn cheating
- Cheat
- Teach cheating
I had no expectations my book would do anything, and in the big picture, it hasn’t. I only mention 50 Shades because the other two billion self-published books don’t do much. Mine is one of them.
In self-publishing, consistency is the key, and I’m anything but. So that’s what surprised me when my Hollywood angel reached out. This doesn’t happen to self-published books.
What’s next?
Of all my side gigs, TJC is the only one that has made me money. Everything else I’ve tried has cost money. I’m seriously considering being a big girl and admitting that.
Someone on Ashely Madison compared my writing to Douglas Adams of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy fame a week ago. I keep my account open to see what my clients are up to. I don’t look for clients there, but do send men to my writings on my website, Adulteryfaery.com, from time to time.
He will never know how much that meant to me.
I was an awkward teen with few friends, an overbearing mother, and a limp biscuit for a stepfather. I retreated into books and stayed there from 12 to 18. Few writers took me away better than Douglas Adams. He taught me my love for irony and absurdity. To this day, I describe people as mostly harmless because of him — IYKYK.
What’s that mean? If Hollywood wants to make a movie based on my book, a total stranger sees Douglas Adams in my writing, and TJC is the only thing that has ever made me money, maybe I should listen to the universe.
I might be a one-trick pony, but damn, if this isn’t turning out to be one hell of a trick.
I would have never imagined myself as a cheater. None of my friends would either and neither would you. I'm the lady…www.amazon.com
© Teresa J. Conway, 2024