Have you ever had non-emotional sex? Like, just getting your freak on for the fun of it? When a Redditor from r/adultery ask this question, it got me thinking — what do people think about sex for the sake of it?
The convo broke down into five sorts of themes, each offering a different perspective on the role of emotional connection in sex. Not surprisingly, cheaters are people too, and their answers are no doubt representative of how most people feel about sex.
I’ll tell you what I like at the end ❤
The Importance of Emotional Connection in Sex
For many, an emotional connection is the cornerstone of a fulfilling sexual relationship. Reddit users like ‘WideOpenDoor’ and ‘OtherwiseWillow8143’ couldn’t stress this enough. WideOpenDoor shared,
“My personal experience is that it always left me feeling unfulfilled. It was awkward before, and it was awkward afterwards.”
This sentiment was echoed by OtherwiseWillow8143, who admitted, “I have even considered a friends with benefits and I can’t do it. I would feel like such a shitty person and I need to have that emotional connection.”
No Strings Attached: The Physical Connection
Others loved sex devoid of emotional ties. ‘Good-Fun-9531’ and ‘iamfine1000’, shared described them as fun, short-lived, and purely physical. Iamfine1000 said,
“I have enjoyed a few short but sweet NSA flings over the years. They were fun. Maybe it’s a learned skill or just a confidence thing.”
Good-Fun-9531 added, “I really had zero interest in a relationship outside of the physical realm and after a few meetups she picked up on it so things fizzled.”
Emotional Connection as a Catalyst: The Quality Factor
The quality of the sex, according to ‘yesandreas’ and ‘notlikeishouldbe’, is changed by an emotional connection. Yesandreas confessed,
“I don’t know if his technique was just that bad, or if the chemistry was just not right but it was hands down the worst sex I’ve ever had.”
Notlikeishouldbe agreed, stating, “We had sex 4 times and it was so blah, watching TV was more exciting. I broke it off because what is the point! I need the emotion.”
The Emotional Balancing Act in Sexual Relationships
‘OddAdvisor578’ added some complexity by discussing the challenges of managing emotions in an affair. She said,
“He said not to get emotional which bothered me (because, you know, I would love to have emotions involved). But I think he did mean not to develop too deep that it becomes a main relationship.”
The Physical Attraction Paradox in Emotional Connection
‘BeruangLembut’ and ‘Creative_Beginning34’ joked about the role of physical attraction, pointing out that without a certain level of emotional connection, physical attraction could fall flat. BeruangLembut quipped,
“Can’t do it. My little soldier won’t salute for strangers.” 🫡
Creative_Beginning34 echoed this sentiment, saying, “No, I need to feel some sort of connection for the soldier to stand at attention, and if he doesn’t want to stand, that’s going to be some poor sex :p”
Takeaway
So, what are these cheaters telling us?
- Emotional connection plays a role in sexual relationships for cheaters, just like normal people.
- Some people enjoy sex without an emotional connection.
- Managing emotions in an affair can be tough — no surprise there.
Emotional connections and the need thereof is different for everyone. It’s essential to understand and respect everyone’s needs, and if you aren’t on the same page, move on.
As for your girl? Well, I like a little love mixed in because I want him to know my body and make it sing. I’ve never gotten that from a stranger, and tho Sarah was an exception, I also learned from her that I’m not that into girls. Without the TLC of a partner who’s there because of me and not just because of my glorious boobs and hot bod, it’s not going to be great for me.
What are your thoughts? Lemme know in the comments :-)
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Open.ai’s ChatGPT 4 supported the development of this story.
© Teresa J. Conway, 2023