I’m proud to announce that Charles lost his second virginity, having had his affair cherry (A-cherry) popped in grand style!
I’ve not written about Charles in a while because there wasn’t much to report. He’s a busy professional who worked hard to earned his place at the table and stay there. That’s good for him, but as the girl who pledged to stick by him until he popped his A-cherry, I was beginning to think –
I might have to go down there and fuck him myself if this doesn’t happen soon!
Where is down there? I’m not saying, but through our correspondence and mutual lapses in information security, we were able to figure out where each other lived. And while not close, I’ve done the there-and-back drive in what Canadians might call a longish nine-hour round trip. It would have been a quick deflowering, but we could have had a couple hours of play.
Of course, that wouldn’t have happened, because I’m devoted to my affair partner, but god? Was I ever going to get rid of this guy? LOL
How did Babushka Teresa — Affair Whisperer do it?
I don’t want to say ADHD, but I will say it. One of the powers of my ADHD mind is the non-linear creative thought process that blessed me with the ability to see invisible links and connections where others might not. Of course, it does a lot of shitting things too, but this one? It’s gold.
Knowing where Charles lived was irrelevant because I wasn’t going to fuck him, but it floated around in my noodle as a piece of information anyway.
Enter Erin
I do not know her in real life, but I met her through comments on my stories. In subsequent discussions we’ve had on Kik, the cheater’s FB Messenger, we learned we have a couple of interests in common, other than adultery. All good. She was shipped with a skilled lover at the time, so I wasn’t thinking much about that. Some cheaters have multiple lovers, and others, like I, do not. In Erin’s case, I got the impression she was more like me but never asked.
In discussion with a mutual, I learned she too is a fellow Canuck near the same area as Charles, not that I mentioned it.
While I try very hard to conceal my identity and location, I have far less fear that a woman would show up on my doorstep looking for the sex or the rape. And I’m sure most women wouldn’t blow up my life if they did and I said —
“Thanks, nice of you to come, but please leave,” unless I fucked her husband, then fair enough.
You see, women are generally too busy for shit like that. So, this, too, was another random piece of unanchored info rambling around my noodle bowl.
Order to the chaos
I’d check in to see how Charles’ hunt was going from time to time, all the while hoping to avoid driving down there to keep my promise, when Erin mentioned her affair had ended in a comment. Which was a surprise, but understandable.
She’d kinda followed the Charles series but not closely. We’d never talked about him, and I’d never told her where he lived because it wasn’t relevant to the chats we’d had.
But then, when she revealed she’d ended things with her affair partner, a lightbulb went off! Those two random bits of info joined hands as I did some rough Canadian driving math, and figured if they met somewhere in the middle, they’d each have an hour and a half or so drive.
In North America, an hour and a half drive is the equivalent to driving to the other side of town in Europe. Not great, but doable depending on what was at the end of the rainbow.
So I off-handedly mentioned to Erin that Charles wasn’t too far from her, still looking, so I asked her if she’d like an intro. Having already mentioned her lady parts needed some attention since the split, she said sure, as I’d guessed she would.
So I emailed Charles –
Email Subject: Hey! Someone wants your email!
Hello Charles!
So, first, let me say that I know you are in the [redacted] area, lol. You sent me a picture of your kitchen, and I saw the [redacted] college magnet on your fridge, and I put the rest together from our chatting.
And no, I’m not stalking you! The lady who asked lives north of [redacted].
She just dumped her lover and is in the hunt. I get there might be a distance thing, but I’m sure she could get to you.
So, if you’re game, it could be fun!
What do you say?
Charles said –
Re: Hey! Someone wants your email!
I’m always up for an exciting adventure 😉
Although I may have to strike while the iron is hot because I’m heading up north for two weeks starting in mid-[redacted] but will be back in [redacted].
So please pass on my email, I appreciate you playing matchmaker🙂.
I had a particularly rough long weekend at the cottage, with my wife showing me zero affection. Completely affected my sleep patterns. Going to bed hot and bothered sucks.
I’m not stalking you either, but I have a strong suspicion you’re somewhere in [redacted] or maybe [redacted]. In one of your articles, you mention [redacted]. Before that, I thought you were somewhere in San Francisco.
But yes, I’m in [redacted], and spend the other half of my time in [redacted] (will start traveling back there in [redacted]).
Thank you
Going back to Erin with the email address, she thanked me. At which point I thanked her for her help in getting me to *hopefully* get out of my commitment to stay with him until he popped his A-cherry!
And then I let it go
I didn’t follow up because while I saw a path to success, I know success takes more than an email address. I knew he was a sweet man from our interactions, and I knew the same of her, which is why I thought the match was worth making, but they were the ones to take it from there.
Then from Charles –
Re: Hey! Someone wants your email!
Hi 🧚🏻♀️ [Charles calls me “🧚🏻♀️”]
Erin! This woman is something special.
[yes, he made the sentence bigger in the email! So cute I thought]
I sincerely hope I can keep her attention.
I kind of own you one. That’s a bit of an understatement!!!! 🙈
Thank you 🙏
Have a great weekend
See? Sweetness!
I was encouraged and knew he was not only in good hands but that he felt he was in good hands. It was important to know he didn’t think I put his penis in a weed whacker just to get rid of him.
Happy, I backed off again
I write about sex, enjoy sex, and like people who like sex, but the one thing I’m not is a voyeur or a snoopy snoop, so I gave them their space. I checked back and offered some additional help related to the post-A-cherry-popping feels Charles might experience, but that was about it.
The reason I did is that the urge to have sex is powerful, especially when the sex is right in front of you and you’re starving for it. But getting home sticky and dripping can come with the more reflective and sobering thoughts that were previously obscured by the lust you just left on some hotel sheets.
Post-sex remorse is a challenge of cheating
When you have those thoughts, you really can’t phone your sister up and say, “hey, yeah, I just banged this dude, and I really like him, but I’m not sure how I feel because I’m married and it was your husband (the guy at work/ Ashley Madison / next door / etc.).”
The good news is you can get through and over them easily enough — which is my message.
And if I’ve done anything towards adultery education, it’s to let people know they aren’t alone, there are resources available, and ears to listen. I’m a historian, and I am confident the first affair occurred within months of the first marriage 100,000 years ago. Why? Adultery is what we do. And if cheating is what we’ve done since forever, there’s no reason to be bad at it.
So far, from what I hear, Charles and Erin are doing well. As for their Babushka Teresa, Matchmaker, Affair Whisperer, and Adulterous Faery Godmother🧚🏻♀️?
She couldn’t be happier for them! ❤️
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