My Ashley Madison profile was finally found! It isn’t surprising because my security has been loose around it, and I use it to generate a lot of material! I also use it to help guys get their profiles and write about that. When I started the account, I never thought much of how I should keep it secure, and then this happened —
There’s no sense in hiding, and I could quickly delete the account and make a new one, but we’ll see, but that wasn’t what excited me!!! What excited me was that someone put two and two together and figured out who I was! I know that people read me, but you’re never too sure how far the message goes or if anyone is getting anything out of what I have to say. I hope they do, but you just never know.
When I got this message, my first thought was that I was internet famous. Well, famous enough to have someone indirectly find me. Even if the cookie crumb trail was clear, I knew someone would have to go through a few steps to find me on Ashley Madison here in town. Curious, I asked him if he wanted to answer some email interview questions, and what follows is what he sent!
Your Faery Godmother of Adultery (FGM) — What caused you to start looking?
Le Monsieur (LM) — To be honest, most of my needs are met with my life partner; I really do love her. I feel the need to have something that’s 100% mine, unshareable. I need to be challenged and be filled with that new relationship energy. An affair fits the bill.
FGM Reply — Incidentally, having something 100% their own is why some women cheat. The affair becomes their activity that doesn’t get interfered with by their husband, children, or family.
FGM — How did you first come across me online? What were you doing? Were you researching cheating?
LM — I was researching AM [Ashley Madison] on Google, trying to figure out the real ratio between men and women. Stumbled on one of your reddit posts that then led me to Medium, where I recognized your fake AM profile.
FGM Reply — For the folks back home, that’s r/adultery, a subreddit with 115,000 people. When I first found it in early 2018, there were a mere 30,000 there. As for the ratio, there are about 200 male active users and about 40 female active users at any one time in my area. As for a fake AM profile? What sort of Faery godmother would I be if I didn’t keep an eye out on my flock?
LM — I read you took your first naked selfie at age 48!! Is Teresa a full decade older than Suzie? ;)
FGM Reply — I did take my first naked selfie at 48ish, and my AM profile says I’m 45. So without giving away too much, I’m not a full decade older than my 45-year-old alter-alter-ego on AM!
This was LM looking for more, just this morning —
FGM — How did you know it was me?
LM — The photo of you with your long red hair sitting by the lake gave you away, sweety.
FGM Reply — I love that picture! It show’s my hair so beautifully, which is why it is all over my platforms now!
FGM — Were you surprised I live near you?
LM — Well, your profile says you’re in [our town]! Can’t always be so sure because the first potential AP I chatted with a couple weeks ago was in Ocean City, even though her profile said she was in [our town].
FGM Reply — This is typical of scammers, but women who want a virtual affair sometimes might do this. I recently chatted with a guy who changed his location three times. He told me he had lots of money and would take care of me. I ended up blocking him because he was a little much, even for your FGM.
FGM — How long have you been cheating?
LM — First attempt.
FGM Reply — this can be a little daunting because it’s a tough space to navigate for men. I tell them it’s a two-step process. First, build a nice profile write-up and send lovely messages. LM’s messages weren’t too bad, to be honest, which is why I stopped in to say hello!
FGM — What caused you to think about cheating?
LM — I don’t see it as cheating as long as my primary relationship remains intact and my life partner gets the love, attention, and respect she deserves.
FGM Reply — While I suspect she’d have a different view, what does come through here is that cheating makes us better partners in some cases. I can’t help but think of Jennifer McDougall’s situation, my own and that of Maddierose. Sometimes if there’s enough love to go around, why not set it free?
FGM — Other than asking for a date, is there anything you’d like to know?
LM — We can have a professional lunch date. I build homes and do renovations for a living. Is your master bedroom due for a fresh coat of paint?? ;)
FGM Reply — Hmm, I don’t mind a fresh coat of paint on my ass sometimes, but as I have told him repeatedly, I’m a one-guy sort of gal, even cheating :-)
What am I going to do going forward? I thought I could shut this AM profile down and open a Teresa one and thereby harmonize my platforms, but I think lurking around under an alias is better.
If all the boys knew I was a sex writer, it might either put them off or make them stupider — and we can’t have that.
And this is where it all started —
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© Teresa J. Conway, 2021