The Loneliest Girl on the Beach

Fun in the sun (Photo: Author)

I needed to get away

In a sexless marriage, even fun things are tinged with sadness. The sun, surf, and sangria can only take you so far when you know that’s all you’ll get. I won’t have sex, and I knew that, but the cramped quarters rule out orgasms of the type and number I crave.

Sitting here, watching bodies drift by, I wonder what would he be like? What would he taste like? What would he feel like?

Before coming to Cancun I managed to slip away for a few hours of me time with my lover. He knows me better than any man ever has. He knows what I need to hear, and what I need to feel. He always lets me orgasm first, unless I molest him until he cums.

When I do that he holds me as I take care of myself. Not this time though. He took the lead from the start and didn’t stop until he fingered me to a thundering orgasm.

He copied something Sarah had done to me when we traveled to Toronto earlier in the fall. When I described what she did, he rolled me over and made me cum as hard as Sarah had.

What I realized about spending the weekend with Sarah was I wasn’t into women. I liked having sex with her, but I learned I could never have a romantic relationship with a woman.

How’s that possible?

I didn’t want to hold hands with her in public, or kiss her. I didn’t need her hugs. I didn’t want to be her girlfriend, and I couldn’t see her being mine.

But I like sex, and I like helping people get off. I loved how soft her breasts felt pressed into mine. Her fingers and tongue were magical as they explored my body.

Sarah had a mild taste, unlike the harsher taste of the first woman I went down on. She is also someone I’ll be friends with whether or not we keep seeing each other for sex.

What did Sarah do?

Our first night in the hotel, just after my shower, she pushed me back on the bed and went down on me. She’d never tasted a woman, and after our car ride of teasing and touching, she was more than ready.

She knew I wouldn’t orgasm with her mouth alone, but that didn’t stop her from trying. After she thoroughly worked me over, she told me to roll onto my stomach, and relax.

Once in position, she lay on her side, beside me, and gently slid her hand over my bum, and into the notch between my legs. Pressing in, she nudged my legs apart as she found my womanhood from behind.

Her touch felt wonderful as she stroked me. I responded by thrusting back into her fingers. She didn’t so much finger my clit, as kept a constant pressure on it as she moved her middle and ring fingers in a circular motion.

In minutes I was writhing under her hand as she continued to finger me. I pumped my ass into the air as I met her thrusts.

When she pushed her thumb into my pussy I nearly lost my mind. Alternating pressure on my clit and deep thumb thrusts quickly drove me into an intense, full body orgasm.

I shuddered and gasped as I lost control of my body. My ass shook as she fucked me through the crashing waves of what I can only describe as an orgasmic seizure.

The best orgasm of my life

Sarah, without question, gave me the best orgasm anyone has ever given me. When I asked her where she learned to do that, she laughed and said an affair partner had done it to her and she thought I might like it. I did.

What I didn’t appreciate was how hard it was. When it was her turn, she ended the same way I did. On the giving end, I fully appreciated how much work it was. And that included the fact she had easier orgasms than I did.

After she came like a mad woman I had to stretch out my fingers and arm. It was exhausting to keep the pressure on. When I put my thumb in her and she started bucking, it because twice as hard.

What was super sexy was feeling her orgasm with her entire body. Her reaction was 10x as strong as when I made her cum with my mouth or fingers.

I love making a man cum. There’s a sense of satisfaction or accomplishment. Men will only cum once or twice a session though. With Sarah, I could get her off five times and keep going. It was hot knowing I was doing that.


So what’s my point? As I lay in my beach chair, soaking up the sun, I thought how much better would this be if I could steal away for sex? It would be perfect. Instead, when I go away I know there’ll be nothing. No sex, and because of the close quarters, no chance of using a vibrator. I could finger myself to a sad little orgasm in the middle of the night, but that’s about.

Being on holiday in paradise is like being in a velvet-lined jail cell. It’s comfortable, but the door’s still locked. And that’s why I’m the loneliest girl on the beach.

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Author of How to Cheat: Field Notes from an Adulteress, several short stories, I'm active on Medium @teresajconway where I sometimes share my blog posts.

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