Ashley Madison’s Copy Pasta DMs

Bowl of macaroni and cheese sitting on a table.
Photo by Mariana Ibanez on Unsplash

Men! You need to write original messages. Every. Single. Time! See that picture above? When she sees a bowl of cheese macaroni, she’ll know she’s not the first girl to get one from you.

When she sees your message, she’ll know if it’s copy pasta, and she won’t like it.

Why not?

Because if you put so little effort into a message, she’ll think there’s a good chance you’ll put little effort into your affair.

And guess what? She’s already married to that guy.

Have a look at this message and see if you can see what I saw —

Screencap: Author

Spotting copy pasta

This tells me it’s copy pasta —

  • I sound intriguing — but we all do. Why am I intriguing? What is it about me? He doesn’t say.
  • Hot woman — I’m pretty sure any woman who responds is going to be hot to him. How am I hot?
  • Wants a connection — they all do. Why with me?
  • Chemistry — If I have a mouth and pussy I’m 100% sure there’ll be chemistry on his end.
  • The rest of the message is about him — loves sex, spice it up, life’s boring, conversationalist, yada, yada, yada.

I’m not seeing anything about me. There’s not one reference to my profile, and that’s key. My profile is a whopper, so I know if they read and understood it. I suspected he hadn’t read it because my profile clearly says:


Most men who read it and message acknowledge they are playing the long odds. I appreciate their game because they know what I’ve said.

Women ignore copy pasta

Most of the women I’ve corresponded with tell me they ignore copy pasta.

Here’s what I replied with because your Faery Godmother of Adultery🧚🏻‍♀️ is ethically obliged to support all adulterers, no matter how misguided they might be starting out…

Screencap: Author

Not all men like being told what’s what, but in this case, he took it the way it was intended — as constructive criticism.


I wouldn’t call it a personal failure. His profile was well-written and represented him well. His challenge was not getting women to respond to him. I know that can be a little frustrating for them, so I generally respond with something to let them know there’s someone out there. The men who never get answers always assume the platform’s a scam or full of bots.

What they never do is assume it’s them. It’s almost as if they think putting their cock out there is enough to bring the milkshakes to the yard.

Pro Tip: It isn’t.

In his case, I figured copy pasta was the problem, so pointed him in the right direction. We’ll see how it goes. Put in a little effort, and you’ll likely see a return because cheating is like everything else in life —

You get out of it what you put in.

© Teresa J. Conway, 2022

Author of How to Cheat: Field Notes from an Adulteress, several short stories, I'm active on Medium @teresajconway where I sometimes share my blog posts.

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