Did That Ashley Madison Chick Block Me?

The sad little park bench when the user’s gone from your digital life.
Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com

This weekend, a client asked me to check a lady out for him. He’d been chatting with her, and then it stopped — COLD. This was right after he mentioned the high school he’d gone to. He didn’t know what happened but thought the school was a little too close for comfort for her.

There was no goodbye, she was just gonzo.

He told me her profile name, age, and city, and I went looking for her. And there she was! I sent him the picture below and told him not to take it too hard.

Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com

There she is in the middle, 😢, still going strong while my poor client was left wondering what was going on.

Did she block me?

Probably, but how can you tell without asking for your Faery Godmother of Adultery’s🧚🏻‍♀️ help or setting up another account?

You will see this —

When you’re blocked, all you will see is her handle on Ashley Madison.
Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com

And what is that?

It’s a blank line the red arrow is pointing at between her handle “Suzie_Q76” and “Favorite”. If you notice in the picture below, there is information — Age/City/State — on that line when you aren’t blocked.

Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com

There’s not much of a difference, and you might not notice at first because your conversation will still appear in your messages. When you open the chat, however, you’ll see that the comment box at the bottom of the page is greyed out, so you can’t enter text.

“Send a message” is greyed out and the paperclip is subdued when you’re blocked.
Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com

But maybe you aren’t blocked!

If she hides her profile on the site, it will appear as if she’s blocked you, so you won’t know which it is. If she pops back up sometime later, her age and city/state will reappear under her name in your messages.

Did she delete her account?

If you’ve had a conversation with someone and then the conversation disappears without a trace from your messages, go to your sent messages folder.

In the message part of the app, press the folder in the top right on the phone, and you’ll get three choices. Pick “Sent” to see what you’ve sent out.

When you look at the sent messages, the ones with numbers instead of a handle mean the account has been deleted.

Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com

If you open the conversation associated with one of these accounts, you will only see your side of it, as if you were talking to yourself. A client sent this one to me.

Screencap: Author from AshleyMadison.com

In this case, he told me they’d picked a discussion back up about sexual fantasies they’d had earlier. The last thing she apparently said was something about not seeing herself with two men. Then, he sent that last message you see above, and then… nothing.


Getting blocked sucks, even as a girl. In fact, it probably hurts more for a girl because it happens so rarely. As I tell the boys, never give up hope and always stay nice, but it still happens.

For men, I tell them to get used to it. If you don’t fit her type, she might block you just to make sure you don’t show up in her future searches.

She could have also hidden her profile. Maybe she met someone and wants to focus on them, or she could be lying low because hubby suspects something and is snooping around on Ashley Madison.

Who knows?

Finally, she could have deleted her account. This happens when she realizes she can’t go through with an affair. Perhaps the guilt of liking you is getting to her, and she shuts it down. Or she had a close call with hub and talked herself out of having an affair. A lot of first-timers do this.

There’s good news and bad news here.

Unless you actually go looking for her with another account you won’t know if she blocked or hid, meaning it might not have been you, which is good news. And it’s the same with deleting her account — that was probably her and not you. No matter what, she’s saved you time and effort because there’s nothing like running into a dead-end after you think you’ve got a connection.

The bad news? It’s gonna sting for a while.

No matter what happens, pick yourself up and move on to the next one. There is someone out there for you.

© Teresa J. Conway, 2022

Author of How to Cheat: Field Notes from an Adulteress, several short stories, I'm active on Medium @teresajconway where I sometimes share my blog posts.

Leave a Reply

Site Footer

%d bloggers like this: