I didn’t choose this life, friends; it chose me
If you told me six months ago that anyone would think of me as a sexy social influencer a couple of weeks before my 50th birthday, I would have said they were crazy. And they just might be, but god, it was so hard to say no to the offer of trying two new sex toys and writing about it!
Because now I’m the Kim Kardashian of adultery!
I’ve been a sex writer for three years, and a Medium blogger for one, and the whole reason any of this started was because I hadn’t had sex in nine freaking years before I started writing! Looking back, I can’t even imagine how I lasted so long.
Well, actually, I can. Toys.
The early days of the dry spell weren’t that sexy. Still, a year into the first significant signs of my hubby’s illness, a girlfriend asked me if he’d recovered everything after his first significant relapse.
I was embarrassed and ashamed to say we’d hadn’t had sex, so I told her the sex wasn’t the same.
Not long after that, she bought me a little bullet vibrator for Christmas. Out for dinner, she forced me to open her gift at the table and OMG! So embarrassing. I’d gotten her a commemorative tree ornament — my go-to for the women I love, but I definitely did better!
“What am I going to do with you?” I asked, shaking my head.
“Who, me? Or your new friend?” She laughed.
“Both of you!” I giggled.
I’d not had or used a vibrator in years, but god did it do the trick. That poor guy didn’t last a year. After that, I collected vibrators and toys; getting to know some very well.
After a decade, there’s still a bullet in my arsenal, and of course I’m absolutely in love with my Magic Wand! I’ve always brought my toys to meets with lovers because I love being watched using them.
The challenge I have using toys at home is privacy. Add in the pandemic, and even my artificial love life came to an abrupt and frustrating halt after hub got laid off.
Why? Because not only doesn’t he fuck me, he doesn’t help get me off, and even becomes sullen when he knows I’ve been taking care of business. It’s like he thinks I should have become a nun the day he became a monk. Never mind that when god flipped his bang-switch off, he left mine on.
So, as much as I love my wand, it sounds like a chainsaw in a quiet house. I can’t hide it when I’m recharging, either. So, while good for giving my lover a show as I ride blissful orgasmic waves, the wand is no good for helping me knock one out at home after a steamy sext session unless I hide in the basement.
Even my little toys are annoyingly loud.
Enter OSUGA’s G-SPA and Cuddly Bird (and yes, an affiliated link and discount code are coming, but OMG, they aren’t coming nearly as fast and long as I did).
Billed as being whisper-light, I unboxed them, and I tried both with a skeptic’s keen eye. But guess what?
And trust me, as someone who’s used the chainsaw of vibrators on her pussy, I know from quiet!
Their supple and smooth silicone bodies fit nicely in my hand. The box said they’d work in the shower, and I’m pretty sure they do because I gave both a pretty good soaking.
Just holding them made me a little horny, and as hubby had already gone to bed, I thought a release would help me sleep. I didn’t want to take too long, so I hoped for a fast orgasm because of the late hour.
I had to be discreet, but I’m not loud when I orgasm, so with hubby beside me, I climbed into bed without undies under my nightie and put the G-SPA to work.
Perfect for my under-the-covers fun, I could hide in a hurry if hub woke.
To start, I used the suction head on my clit for a few minutes while I fingered myself. Although already damp from the unboxing, it was a lovely way to start. I then tilted the other end down and into my pussy with ease as I dripped freely by that point.
I then slid the vibrating G-SPA in and out of my pussy to stimulate the upper wall of my vagina and g-spot with each pass — which is where I suppose the G in the name comes from, lol.
My first orgasm came in five minutes using the maximum vibration setting (there’s a reason I use the chainsaw of vibrators), which is fast for me. I’m multi-orgasmic, and I wasn’t disappointed by the battery life as I let my orgasms spread over me in waves.
Comparing the G-SPA to my magic wand for effectiveness, I was surprised by how well it applied more direct and intense stimulation to my clit and g-spot, without turning my pussy into hamburger in the process!
So perfectly satisfying despite its discreet size, it felt oh so good inside me.
And no hand cramps either! It was effortless to hold in place, easy to maneuver! Because it was comfortable to hold, it was easy to slide it in and out of my pussy, or switch back to sucking me.
The G-SPA gets —
🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝 out of 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝!
The Cuddly Bird
This vibrator is a hidden jewel. And when I say hidden, I mean it. I was able to write part of this review while it worked my clit. I easily held it with my inner thighs as I wrote. Hushed and discreet, too, I could easily use it as my dear husband slept next to me. I didn’t in this case because he was already up and out the next morning when I tried her out.
Like her big sister, the Cuddly Bird was easy to maneuver and manipulate. It would be perfect during sex while going down on my affair partner, and I could probably hold it in place myself!
Brother and sisters — it was total clit stimulation.
Its charging base was unique too. In fact, I have never seen anything like it! The base acts as a cute little night light when plugged in, giving off a romantic glow through its jar-like cover.
And the bird’s suction was so incredibly intense my juices flowed from me!
I already mentioned the chainsaw, right? While the Cuddly Bird didn’t bring me to orgasm, it wasn’t for lack of trying. But for perspective, my lover has never brought me off with his mouth, and that wasn’t for lack of trying either. I demand a lot of stimulation, which my Cuddly Bird gave me, but when I grabbed the G-SPA and used them together to finish?
Don’t let that put you off because my pussy’s a tough customer to please! I require more than an average amount of clitoral stimulation to get off, but that’s not my sweet little bird’s fault, is it? No.
Where I anticipate using this baby bird is during foreplay as my lover fingers me or when I’m sucking him. During sex, I’ll hold the suction mouth on my clit as he pounds me from a standing position along the bed’s edge. He’s never made me orgasm, and I’m sure he’ll love help from my new toy!
I’m giving the Cuddly Bird —
🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝 out of 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝!
I have high hopes for her the next time I’m with my man!
Ladies and gentlemen, these vibrators are in a league of their own. From use to feel and design, they’ll fill her multi-orgasmic needs, whether they are for yourself, or that special lady in your life!
Together, they created the perfect storm; flooding my sheets and giving me that thunderous satisfaction I crave in a toy!
Full disclosure, friends! Not only did I get my new best friends for free to use, but I also get a 20% commission if you use this discount code —
On OSUGA’s page —
That comes at no extra cost to you but think of it as a bit of a finder’s fee for your Adulterous Faery Godmother’s 🧚🏻♀️ deep and ongoing devotion to your sexual health!
Join my email list — HERE and get a free pdf copy of my ebook — How to Cheat: Field Notes from an Adulteress
© Teresa J. Conway, 2021