How Helicopters Gave Jeff Bezos’ Affair Away

A cautionary tale for cheaters

Photo by Beckett Pfahler on Unsplash

In 2003 Jeff Bezos was in a Texas helicopter crash that saw him, and others suffer minor injuries. The accident occurred on take-off when strong winds blew the helicopter into trees, causing the crash.

Many people would be happy to walk away from a helicopter and never go back after something like that, right? Jeff was no exception, and he’d made well known within his inner circle.

I don’t know much about billionaires, but I know enough about top-tier executives to know that their travel plans are usually planned minute by minute to maximize their work time and minimize their transit time. This usually involves several modes of transportation, from private jets and executive aircraft handling services that cater to those who don’t wait in lines.

It would also include regional travel. Few airports are located in areas where business is done, and all pre-pandemic cities had massive traffic patterns that could see you caught waiting in them. That’s fine for the worker bees, but senior executives make too much money to have them sitting in traffic — no matter how nice the car is. The solution?

Point to point helicopter travel unless your boss doesn’t want to travel in a helicopter because one nearly killed him.

Jeff, of course, is a busy man, so I’m sure his bitching and moaning about traffic delays would have been legendary. People like Jeff want to eat their cake and have it too, so I can only imagine what people had to do to give him helicopter-like convenience at ground traffic speeds, and every time the best-laid plan shit the bed, I’m sure everyone heard about it. And lower-level travel and itinerary managers heard about it from their bosses because their bosses were tired of listening to Jeff go on about helicopters. So, wanting Jeff to STFU about helicopters became some’s daily Amazon hell from 2003 onward.

And this is why everyone at Amazon would know he hated helicopter travel.

In 2018 then, to everyone’s surprise, Jeff started spending money on helicopters. And not just any helicopters, but the main contractor paid to film his space company’s test flights. Fair enough, it’s not like Jeff was flying in them.

Or was he?

Around that same time, he was seen chumming around with his now girlfriend, the CEO of the helicopter company, a sexy TV anchor turned — helicopter pilot. Imagine that.

The long and the short of it is, the people around you aren’t stupid. They can see what you do; they know what you like and what you don’t like. If you start coming home from the liquor store with a bottle of wine “you wanted to try,” instead of the case of Bud Light, you usually would, they’ll notice.

Changing habits is a sign that something’s up. It might not be enough to determine that you’re cheating, but it’s a clue that just might cause them to start looking at other clues. So, if you’re cheating and don’t want to get caught, and you hate helicopters, keep hating helicopters.

Nothing will give your affair away faster than changing your tastes and preferences on a dime because you’ve fallen under the influence of your affair partner.Jeff Bezos’ sudden keen interest in helicopters reportedly revealed his affair with Lauren Sanchez
Amazon execs saw Jeff Bezos’ divorce announcement coming, according to a new book. The book reportedly said Bezos…

Of course Jeff never got to see my book, How to Cheat: Field Notes from an Adulteress, on Amazon, because it wasn’t published until New Year’s Eve in 2019. I’m sure if he’d seen it, he’d have recognized his mistake.How to Cheat — Field Notes from an Adulteress
Why I wrote a book on

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© Teresa J. Conway, 2021

By Teresa J Conway on .

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Exported from Medium on July 29, 2021.

Author of How to Cheat: Field Notes from an Adulteress, several short stories, I'm active on Medium @teresajconway where I sometimes share my blog posts.

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