When You Cheat Assume a Private Investigator Is Spying on You

You are being hunted, so act like it

A Toronto private investigation (PI) business reports a 30% jump in investigations since the beginning of Covid and sees 250 to 400 clients a month, and many are related to cheating.

Why? People are going stir-crazy, but there are other concerns like your cheating ass bringing Covid home to the family.

The owner of the company reports that many of her clients are women, which is interesting, but not surprising. Men are more confident, therefore obvious about their affairs than women are. Because of that they are more likely to give wifey a reason to suspect something’s up.

Lockdowns, self-isolation, and limited socialization are causing people to stay at home with the family more, which gives your spouse more time to watch what you are doing. That makes it more difficult for you to mask your extracurricular activities with your normal routines. The more difficult it is to hide means you’ll probably take more risks, and give away more clues you are cheating.

Why more men aren’t calling seems to support my theory that men are stupid. While they believe they won’t get caught on one hand, they are more trusting of their wife on the other. Men often don’t suspect their wife would cheat, therefore don’t look for clues.

It helps that women are more careful about sexual things in general. They’ve been socialized since birth that the social and physical consequences of making a sexual mistake are far worse for women than men, so are more cautious.

The first take away from the article is that men need to be more cautious about cheating. The second is that men with financial means need to be careful that their wife hasn’t outsourced her intuition to experts trained to catch them.

So what can a PI do for your spouse?

Let’s look at Star Quality Private Investigations Toronto, the company mentioned in the article. This video mentions the critical indicators of a cheater, all of which I’ve discussed in other articles:https://www.youtube.com/embed/fS7_yf1zoiQ?feature=oembed

When you read SQPI’s webpage it’s clear they are not on your side. I’m sure they don’t really care about anything other than the money, so it makes sense they would sympathize with person writing the check. But never forget that everyone hates a cheater 

A spousal or infidelity investigation involves the use of private investigation techniques, combined with skill and expertise that track and collect evidence that proves the suspicion of a cheating spouse or partner. The goal at Star Quality Private Investigations Toronto is to obtain is to obtain video and photographic evidence, date and time stamped, that can be used within a court of law, when necessaryOur motto for infidelity investigations is that “video and still photography does not lie” which has made us the go-to private investigation agency for providing fast, accurateresults in an economical manner.

Our Team of Private Investigators all have decades of law enforcement experience, skills and special surveillance training. Your investigation is handled in a confidential, professional manner and one of our licensed case managers are always available and empathetic, through the entire process.

In many cases, as well as instances of cheating, Infidelity Investigations can reveal other lies or behaviors about the partner in question, such as excessive drinking, illegal activity, gambling, drug use, sex trade addictions and many other questionable activities.

While no two investigations are the same, the following services and techniques can be involved within an infidelity case:

  • Surveillance (mobile vehicle or fixed video surveillance)
  • GPS Tracking
  • Background Checks
  • Skip Tracing
  • Social Media Investigation

We are committed to using every known and secret tool in our investigative toolbox to expose the truth as quickly as possible, while obtaining quality evidence that can be used within a court of law as well as several other governing bodies.

So what are the things they provide, and how do you defeat them?

Surveillance (mobile vehicle or fixed video surveillance)

Mobile surveillance is where they follow you on a night when you say you are working late but are meeting your affair partner.

Fixed video is a little different. The company doesn’t have a million cameras around town. Still, they can do a secret video camera installation in your HOME, BUSINESS, or CAR, or any other place you go that your spouse has access to.

Defeating mobile surveillance

Mobile surveillance is costly, so whoever hired them has the bucks or wants to catch you badly. One night of surveillance to get the still photos and video evidence they collect will cost about $100/hour, so between $500 and $1000. If your spouse doesn’t have easy access to that amount of money, you probably aren’t being followed.

If they have the money, monitor their credit cards and bank account spending or cash withdrawals. Look for unusual company names and google them. No company is going to do mobile surveillance without a retainer, no matter how economical they say they are.

You will never know when you are under mobile surveillance.

If you have a reason to think you are under mobile surveillance, test your spouse. Tell them you are working late, if that’s an excuse you like to use, and then drive directly home. When you get home, give them a reason why you didn’t stay at work, and watch their reaction. If they act strangely, or immediately begin texting or making a call, they are likely telling the surveillance team to stand down.

I’ll tell you not to meet your affair partner, but that’s too easy. Instead, slow things down, be a good spouse and let the PI watch you at the gym or going out with your friends. Do that three or four times on your regular date nights, and they’ll have nothing to see. Doing this once will not shake them.

If you meet your affair partner and think you’re being followed, meet in a busy third location and plan to take their car. Go to a Walmart or Costco, and park as close to the store as possible. Find a spot several lanes away from the store exit, and not immediately in front of it.

If you park in front of the exit, the PI can park on either side, and you won’t know which. If you offset from the exit, the PI will park to that side because they need to see your vehicle to collect photo and video evidence.

Parking near the store makes it difficult for the PI find a spot to park close by and the foot traffic in front makes it harder for them to quickly drive through. They also won’t be able to stay in the lane along the storefront because of the traffic.

Doing this, instead of parking in the lot’s corner beside your lover’s car, puts more pressure on PI in a short amount of time. They’ll try to watch you while looking out for pedestrians, other vehicles, and a place to park, but it will be tough.

If you park in the far corner of the lot beside your lover, you’re easy prey.

Once parked, get out of your car and enter the store. If the parking lot’s busy enough, they will probably lose visual track of you for a few minutes as they figure out where best to park to take pictures. Losing sight of you won’t worry them though, because they will know where your car is.

But they won’t expect you to go in, because they think you are meeting your lover, not shopping. Because Walmart only has one exit, unlike a mall, they won’t follow you, but watch for you to exit.

While they are organizing themselves, walk into the store, wait one minute near the exit, take off or put on your coat, then follow the next sizeable group of people out. Once out, casually walk in the direction away from where you parked and around the next available corner, and out of sight.

It’ll be half an hour before they realize you’re gone. But they won’t leave. They will stay and wait for you to come back, because they will know you are up to something. How long will they wait? Up to the time you said you’d be home, hoping to catch you returning to your car with your lover.

To avoid that, get dropped off out if sight a store or two down from the Walmart and walk back from there.

If you give them the slip, they’ll report that to your spouse, so have a cover story prepared to explain why you were at Walmart:

  • there was a change of plans so you met at a restaurant near there instead, they were late, so you went into Walmart, then to the restautrant
  • you met your friend at Walmart first because they had to get something
  • you checked the next box store out looking for a book/shirt/chair you wanted while you waited for them

Prepared means be ready to say it. If they don’t ask, don’t say anything.

Fixed Surveillance

This is easier to defeat. Never meet your affair partner in a place your spouse has access to. The key thing you’ll need to protect yourself is a cover story every time you leave the house. The cameras will see you, and the PIs will log your comings and goings. If you can’t explain why and where you went, you’ll give yourself away.

If they ask, don’t over-explain or offer anything — someone with nothing to hide will never think they need to explain themselves.

GPS Tracking

This is obvious, but what a PI will do is live tracking, so they’ll know where you are at all times, log it, and report your location to your spouse. This is also how they will conduct their surveillance without following you. They’ll know your car is at Walmart before they get there and set up — if they haven’t followed you. This is why you don’t use your own car for your date and get dropped off several buildings away when you are done.

The best way to defeat this is to be where you said you were going to be and follow the most obvious route to get there and home, or have a plausible cover story to explain why you weren’t where you said you’d be.

Background Checks

These are for the people they suspect you might be cheating with, like a co-worker or someone else in your circle. Your spouse will have tipped them off on who this might be. That’s why a random online affair partner entirely out of your network will make it much harder to track. If they know who your affair partner is, they might follow them instead of you, and catch you that way.

Skip Tracing

This is the process of finding a person who is hiding or moved away (referred to as a person of interest) to avoid responsibilities and other issues. The most common reason for hiding usually revolves around debt, but in your case, if you’ve met someone online, this will be the method they use to find out who your out of network lover is.

All they’d need to start a skip trace is to see you and your lover together. Get their license plate number or follow them home. Notice that the company lists former police officers as staff. While it is highly improper, these former officers will have many contacts who are more than willing to do an old friend a favor for a little cash in exchange for a license plate identification. Don’t doubt that.

Once they find your lover, they may talk to their neighbors, coworkers, and her friends to find out who she is, and destroy their life just for fun.

Social Media Investigation

They will search your social accounts, looking for signs of the person you’re cheating with. What do they look for? Who likes your posts, and whose posts you like. The best way to get around this is to locate your lover on their social media accounts and block them, and then have them do the same to you.

If you interact at all, Mark Zuckerberg will helpfully recommend them as someone all your friends might know. It won’t take much to figure out who the stranger is who likes all of your posts and pictures once they also start popping up in your spouse’s friend recommendations.


If you want to avoid all of this, don’t cheat, but that’s not why you’re here, is it? This information might seem repetitive, and it is for a reason. You need to know that people are hunting you to find out your secrets.

And yes, their decades of experience will assist them if you are sloppy. So believe it can happen to you and take steps to counteract how they operate.

That will make their job harder, and harder means more expensive. As costs add up, your spouse will stop paying, and that will protect you.

I will caution that if your spouse is getting PIs after you, you’ve probably already given yourself away, and now all they want is evidence.


Immediately stop seeing your affair partner for six weeks, while continuing to do the things that led your spouse to believe you were having an affair, to throw them off the scent — if you know a PI agency has been engaged.

Don’t confront your spouse if you know they’ve hired a PI. Pretending you don’t know anything about it is what an innocent person would do. Act normal and let them think they are seeing things — let them gaslight themselves.

Never forget that prevention is the best cure — if you hide your affair well, you won’t have this problem.

Have a look at Lesson 10 for more —Lesson Ten — The Boring Shit That Stops Adultery From Killing You
Seriously, if you’re having an affair, you need to be on top of this shizzlemedium.com

Join my email list — HERE and get a free pdf copy of my ebook —How to Cheat — Field Notes from an Adulteress
Why I wrote a book on cheating.medium.com

© Teresa J. Conway, 2020

By Teresa J Conway on .

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Exported from Medium on April 8, 2021.

Author of How to Cheat: Field Notes from an Adulteress, several short stories, I'm active on Medium @teresajconway where I sometimes share my blog posts.

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