So, Your Affair Partner is Stupid

Find a new one or make sure they’re worth it

They might look good, but sometimes, that isn’t enough. (Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay)

Sure, there’s a small chance you could get raped or murdered by a stranger as a cheater, but it’s far more likely that the person who’s going to fuck your life up is the one you’re fucking on the down low.

A hapless affair partner could be the most dangerous person in your life. It could be their poor OPSEC, stupidity, or bad luck, but it won’t matter when it’s too late.

Your AP is basically like you, trying to get some action on the side, but if they aren’t good at it, you’re both going to be dead.

How bad could it be, you ask?

He keeps your nudes and sexy videos on his phone that he leaves at home — unlocked.

She doesn’t know how to use her phone, so gets her kid’s help to install apps, and while doing that, he reads your sexts.

He calls you at work, but your Admin Assistant picks up, so he gets flustered and leaves some stupid message giving everyone something to talk about.

Your beautiful, but deeply stupid AP with the tight abs and python in his pants is so hot you can’t give him up. You cross your fingers and hope for the best, but his best is showing up on your doorstep doing a Love Actually without cue cards…and hubby answers the door.

Shit can go sideways fast and an affair partner who can’t think on their feet is dangerous. If they aren’t taking the same precautions you are, they risk destroying both of you.

But, why do you care about their life going up in flames? If they haven’t protected themselves, what makes you think they’ve protected you?

It’s your job to keep yourself safe from the idiots.

“If you choose to display a face picture for all to see on your profile, don’t bother to message me. Showing your face shows that you don’t understand risk… and for me, that makes you a risk.”
 — from an Ashley Madison profile

People want discrete APs for obvious reasons, but your security is only as good as your weakest link. Someone living on luck alone will be sloppy and have levels of risk tolerance that are off the charts. Those people are the weakest link.

You will see fairly quickly who is thinking about security when you look at their profile. The first clue a person is risky is if they are showing their face. The only people who do that are single, new to the game, or not very smart. Whatever it is, they aren’t for you, because that person is screaming —

‘Hey, look at me, I’m cheating!

When hubby’s co-worker, the guy on his hockey team, or the creeper in the mailroom sees her picture, she’ll have a problem. A one-and-done problem.

People who don’t understand OPSEC are a liability to everyone they associate with. These people will get dates, but anyone who touches them is taking a huge risk, no matter how good their own security is.

Don’t let idiots ruin your fun.

What’s OPSEC? 54 Acronyms and Jargon Every Cheater Should Know

Learn more from my book – How to Cheat: Field Notes From an Adulteress

By Teresa J Conway on .

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Exported from Medium on March 4, 2021.

Author of How to Cheat: Field Notes from an Adulteress, several short stories, I'm active on Medium @teresajconway where I sometimes share my blog posts.

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