How to Cheat: Field Notes from an Adulteress

Why I wrote a book about adultery.

A beginner’s guide to a dark art. (Photo: Author)

Sex is the easiest part of an affair. Getting there safely, in the most discreet manner possible, and getting home again, without giving away clues is much harder. While we can all see the scene in our mind of the spouse coming home from work early and walking in on a heart breaking scene, that isn’t how most affairs are discovered.

Affairs are discovered in the little clues the cheater leaves behind. Things like a receipt in a jacket pocket, an unfamiliar scent, a reply to the wrong text, or a cover story that doesn’t add up, are what will burn you. It may take time for all these things to add up, but once you leave enough clues behind, the picture will come into focus.

And when that happens, you’re done.

When I decided to have an affair, I turned to the internet. I knew the sorts of things I should avoid, but I needed the details. I wanted examples and best practices from the experts; advice; and the rules of the game. But there was next to nothing in a single place I could go to.

This book is the product of the research I did before I stepped out, and what I learned afterward. I spent hours chatting online with cheaters, reading of their failures and successes, and learned why people cheat. In that, I discovered the why really didn’t matter. No matter why a person cheated, they all faced the same challenges, so that’s what I focused on. The challenges of getting out the door and returning home safely.

Why? There’s only one strike in this game.

When I started, I quickly discovered there were no ‘how-to’ resources available, so I painstakingly built my own. My collection of notes turned into a series of tips and tricks, and as I dove deeper into things I realized there were many key steps in conducting an affair, each with their own dangers. As I defined the steps and organized my notes, I realized I’d written the ‘how to’ book I was looking for.

Having written this book and learned so much about cheating along the way, I find I still can’t call myself an expert. There are no experts in this field because the best I could ever say is – I haven’t been caught yet, because I’ll only ever be as good as my last lie.

Here’s link to my book on Amazon, where it is available in paperback, or as an ebook on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited –

Follow me on Medium –

Author of How to Cheat: Field Notes from an Adulteress, several short stories, I'm active on Medium @teresajconway where I sometimes share my blog posts.

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